Dating over 40

March 17, 2014

An over-forty friend of mine has recently begun dating…this can seem like a daunting task so I have tried hard to give good and solid advice!  I mean, let’s face it, the dating game now is more than slightly different from the one you remember from your 20’s; we went from blind dates and cruising bars to speed dating and dating websites!  Either way, when you meet someone for the very first time, your objective should be to make a good first impression while getting to know the potential significant other. 

With this in mind, I polled many of my male friends as well as my own guy and came up with some good pointers.  With so many folks I know signing up to play this game, I decided to share my advice with all of you as well. . .

9 Successful Dating Tips!

1. Don’t go too sexy! You look far more appealing and sexy if you show less.  Leaving something to the imagination is sexier to a man than taking all the guesswork out of it for him - better to keep things a bit mysterious. 

2.  Confidence is sexy.   Be sure to dress in something that makes you feel good; this will help you carry yourself with confidence.  You look your best when you feel your best so dress in something that feels comfortable – avoid items you will have to tug at, pull at, or tuck in. This way you can concentrate on keeping up your end of the conversation.  Be careful here though…too much confidence can be portrayed as aloof.  

3.  Let the real you shine.  Nothing is more of a disappointment than to go on a few dates with someone only to find out on date three that they were holding back.  Don't be afraid to eat and please don't order a salad and pick at it - guys love a girl that eats her meal.   

4.  Don't be a prude.  If you are feeling a spark, a goodnight kiss is a great way to end a great first date!  However, do not invite him in. . .I promise that is not the foundation you want to build a relationship on.  Let’s be honest, most guys would love to spend the night with you but men are more refined than college boys and a fantastic kiss will leave them wanting more.

5.  Don’t initiate texting.  This is pretty much self explanatory.  If he sends a text, then respond.  Keep the conversation going as long as he is texting but don’t be overly quick to respond.  If you do not keep a respectable distance between replies it may appear as if you have nothing else going on.  When his texts began to span further apart stop responding - make him keep the conversation alive.  

6. Have a Wednesday deadline.  If a guy hasn't made Friday plans to get together with you by Wednesday afternoon - you are not available.  It’s really very simple…this will teach them that your time is as valuable as theirs and is to be respected.  So what if you really don't have plans for Friday?  Decline. If he doesn't think you have a life, or anything going on, you will lose some of the mystery about yourself.  Maybe your plans are reading a good book, taking in a movie with your girlfriends, or just a night at home with a face mask on. . .those are still plans.  

7. Be spontaneous.  Don't let the Wednesday rule confuse you.  If your guy calls you on a Saturday afternoon and asks you to meet up with him for a bite or a drink - go! Day dating is a bit different.    

8.  Drive your own vehicle.  Now some might think this is a bit too modern, but I disagree. In the beginning, being in control of your time and exit strategy is important.  This empowerment may help contribute to a successful evening.  If it doesn’t turn out that way and you’re having a terrible time, you can always end the evening without an awkward drive home.  Besides. . .for safety reasons, you really don't want to share where you live yet either.  

9.  Girlfriends will always be girlfriends.  Keep a happy balance between the new boy and your girlfriends.  Remember, they are the girls that wiped away your tears from the last broken heart and will be there when there is no man around.  Do what you need to do in order to ensure that they remain a priority in your life.

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